My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
