You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
