he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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