she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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