So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
