so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
