i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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