People with herpes should wear stickers.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
