mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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