as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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