I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
