dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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