Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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