Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
they need to just BURY HIM!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
