FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
