I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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