wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
