i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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