More tranny stories later!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize