THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
