and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
