'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
