Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
