you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
