are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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