So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
this boner is exhausting
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
