when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
