Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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