I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
