Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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