I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
