The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
