the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
