So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Can I color on your dick again?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
