Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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