you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
