And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
