so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
