This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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