Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
