DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
