are you still at the devil's house?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
