You work out of a Hotel?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
