don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
