And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
