I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
