Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
