Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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