Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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