yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
