I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
