A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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