i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
