Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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