There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
