Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
