look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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